Friday, May 17, 2013

I'm just tired...

I'm tired of remembering when he believed in me. Because it wasn't so long ago.
I'm tired of remembering when I wasn't just a means to and end. I mean  that in every euphemistic way you can take it.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of the shame.
I'm tired of being turned down for every goddamn job I apply for.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of being stuck here.
I'm tired of having to rely on him because he drives and I don't.
I'm tired of not having my fucking license.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of being lied to.
I'm tired of all of the fucking excuses.
I'm tired of everyone else being more important than me.
I'm tired of everyone else's time being more valuable than mine.
I'm fucking tired of crying.
I'm tired of walking on fucking eggshells just to speak.
I'm tired of not knowing when he's going to fucking blow up over something that isn't even worth it.
I'm tired of having to just take time to study because he won't make time.
I'm tired of not having time for friends because I can't fucking get anywhere.
I'm tired of the bullshit.
I'm tired of the lies.
I'm tired of there always being someone else, whether it's a side bitch or one of his buddies.
And I'm tired of wasting tears on someone who would never fucking cry for me.

2 comments:

  1. I love you, hon. I'm tired of not having the money to buy a giant hotel or a small town where I could bring all my awesome friends and let them live there happily for free.

    And I would totally drive you around in my truck if I could.

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