Saturday, June 1, 2013

For People in the Dating Game, this is for you.

There's a lot of shit floating around on the internet that claims to be advice. It's written mostly by people who have amazing and outstanding skills in fucking up relationships and couldn't have a successful one if they tried.

This is another one!

If you want to be loved, you have to love. If you're in a relationship with someone who loves you immensely, and you're kinda lukewarm but the sex is awesome, you need to be honest.

Sex is not the same thing as love. Love is not the same thing as sex. Equating the two and expecting the outcome to be a happy one is where every person on the goddamn planet fails.

You cannot lie your way into any kind of relationship and expect happiness. This goes doubly for open relationships. If you can't trust or be trusted, there is a 100% guarantee of relationship problems.

Looking at someone else is not cheating.

Seeking out a partner who will earn all of the income and then come home and do all of the household work is bullshit. Seeking out that kind of servitude is bullshit, and anyone who has that dynamic in their relationship knows that the level of love that is required is immense and that it's a gift that can only be given.

You are not going to fix them. They probably need help that you are unqualified to deal with.

Don't marry someone who leaves you when you refuse to have an abortion.

Don't marry someone who coerces you into getting them pregnant.

Don't use people.  I'm not a thing, you're not a thing.

If you just want sex, be honest. You'll find that your prospects just got a lot less needy.

If you DON'T want sex, be honest. You'll find that your prospects just got a lot less angry.

Actually, how about I shorten this?

Be honest. Don't go for people based on their looks alone. If you can't have a conversation with them without wanting to throatpunch them, imagine living together. Stop calling women sluts and prudes. Stop calling guys studs and manwhores. Stop trying to change people. Find people that you LIKE to be with. Make friends with them. If sex happens, make it mutually agreed upon and mutually satisfactory. Don't play stupid mind games.

If you want a relationship with someone you love, don't be an asshole.

And fucking quit taking advice from people on the internet who have been in and out of relationships and can't get their own shit together. Myself included.